Wednesday, November 16, 2005

From a hotel room in Los Angeles

November 14, 2005

So here I sit in a hotel room in Los Angeles. I’ve ordered room service and am watching an unknown movie staring Nicolas Cage. The guy in the next room is pounding on the wall behind me. I really wish I knew what he was doing but possibly I don’t want really want to. I do know he plugged something in so initially I was assuming he was going to be setting up like me: laptop and t.v. But now it seems like something else entirely.

So, I’ve been feeling like a real working person lately and I’d be foolish not to admit how nice it is. I appreciate my flexible life and the time I get to spend with the kids but it is also very nice to be in the adult working world on ocassion. But boy, I’m out of practice and am totally exhausted today. I got back to the hotel at 6:30 and I could only stare at the t.v. for an hour before I got the energy to order food. That’s pretty pathetic.

Oh, HBO is now going to play Sideways. Cool – I’ve got the DVD from Netflix waiting for me but I’ll just send it along back when I get home.

I’ve already had two phone calls from the princess this afternoon and I should call her now to make sure she is okay. Poor thing is having a very hard time with a new homework assignment and she just can’t manage to handle new at all. And then I’m not there which really makes things worse because on top of being stressed about her homework, she was feeling like she wanted me and not her dad who is there. Guilt and stress – sounds like my life, poor thing. I managed to get her calmed down and hopefully reassured her that she didn’t love her dad less, just that she was more used to me and the way I did things so that was more comforting when things weren’t going her way.

You know, sometimes I wonder what those kids are going to think of their childhood when they look back. Will I be the mother who was always there. Or the dope who couldn’t make her husband (and more importantly, the children’s father) come back home. Or the fool who allowed this situation to continue. Or the crazy person who didn’t want her husband back but who played the martyr. Or the evil mother who wouldn’t move to another city just because her husband did.

Possibly they’ll be able to see I just did the best I could. I really hope they get that.

Now I’m so hungry I’m not even hungry. Damn room service. 45 minutes and still no salad. Sheesh, how long does it take to bring up a salad.

I should have ordered wine. I got fizzy water instead. I need wine.

Ah, the meals over and I feel much better. Now back to work.

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