Wednesday, November 30, 2005

A List

1. I've done NOTHING towards Christmas.

2. I look at the calendar and feel like crying.

3. My son is so excited about Christmas because my brother and his family are here and my mother and her husband are coming up so it will be a big deal! He loves big deals. I don't.

4. I agreed to a flocked tree. I remember wanting one as a kid and not getting -- so he wants one and he'll get it.

5. He thinks the flocked tree will make all of Christmas that much more special.

6. I do wish I could capture the magic of knowing a flocked tree will make Christmas more special.

7. I'm in desperate need of magic.

8. I had my 35 item to do list down to 20 items and now it is back up to 33 items. None of these items relate in any way to getting ready for Christmas.

9. WAH!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Big To Do's and No Motivation

Back to the land of obligations.

Our drive home yesterday was uneventful. We made awesome time and got from El Segundo to San Jose in 5.5 hours including a 30 minuted lunch break. I was flying. I did notice a bunch of southbound traffic leaving SJ when we were coming in which confirmed my decision to leave early and leave on Saturday. It will be a parking lot out there today.

I managed laundry and grocery shopping yesterday so I've got that done. I should have worked last night but spent it IM chatting with a friend and looking at vintage cocktail dresses in eBay. Of course that was more fun but here I sit, still procrastinating on the work thing. I was going to get up early and that didn't happen and now I'm stalling in any way I can. Not good for someone with a 35 item to do list and a busy week.

If I'd just start -- I'd actually get things done. Okay, I'm going.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Post Thanksgiving

November 25, 2005

Well, thanksgiving is over and I’m already antsy to get back to work as crazy as that sounds. I’ve got so much to do and next week is very crazy because of this volunteer thing I do so I’ve actually got to do a bunch of work this weekend. Today we will do somehting around here and then tomorrow I’ve got to drive back up the state and then on Sunday there is a bunch of errands and stuff to do and then Monday ….. ack. I need to go home today but I think my kids would kill me.

Fingers crossed that the drive back up the state goes well. I’m leaving Saturday to (hopefully) miss the traffic on I5 going back home. The drive down here was fine until we got within 20 miles of my sister in law’s house – that last 20 miles took one hour and 45 minutes (hate hate hate LA traffic). But I’ve sat on I5 on thanksgiving weekend and that isn’t any fun either so I’m hopeful that leaving Saturday willl be better than leaving Sunday.

Being in Thanksgiving and all, I need to remind myself what I am thankful for:

1. Being within driving distance of family so we actually do get to see them on holidays
2. My kids – as much as I complain, they are wonderful kids. And self sufficient – my son did his entire packing for this trip without any help/review from me. For my daughter, after she had everything out she wanted to take, I reviewed it, put back a random pair of shorts, added a pair of jeans and two t-shirts and that was it. She had everything else perfect. And when I was gone last week, my son found his (fairly) hidden tux pants all by himeself (even though I paniced mid afternoon when I realized he might not know where they were). And when I finally called, he said “mom, I’m wearing them right now and I’ve got it taken care of.”
3. My work – interesting and fun(at times) and it has expanded from part time to full time right when I needed it to but because I’m at home, I still have a bunch of flexibility to run the kids to their activities and just be present in the afternoons. I’m so very lucky in that regard.
4. My health Рkinda clich̩ but there you go
5. Choices – and being adult enough enough to recognize this (I’m a slow learner).

And with that, I’ll go get some breakfast. I hope it was a nice Thanksgiving for everyone.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

LA Again

I'm off this afternoon to drive to Los Angeles. Oh I dread that drive -- there isn't much redeming about it -- actually there is nothing redeming about it. It is a miserable drive and today because we are leaving at 12:30 (when the kids get out of school) I'll be landing in LA at peak traffic hours. And that means it will take 2 hours to do the last 30 miles of the drive. The anticipation of that just makes me want to cry.

The one thing I hope to acomplish in the next four or five days is to get a good to-do list down for the next month because I'm really starting to worry. I've got NOTHING even thought about for Christmas and I've got so much work to do right now, I'm really overwhelmed.

Oops just looked at the clock -- the kids need to be up early to get their things together. Outta here. Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Pooped, Drama and Tuesday

Here I sit looking around me at the piles of work to be done. I'm exhausted. Two days in LA for work and I'm pooped. I think back to my younger working days, pre-kids and marvel at the stamina I had back then. All nighters, traveling -- boy am I such a wuss now. Of course it didn't help that I didn't sleep much while gone. The street noise at the hotel was so loud and I was pretty wound up. Then last night when I was supposed to be catching back up, I was awake for two hours remembering things that didn't get accomplished. Tonight should be much better.


I am back to drama with the drama queen. Poor thing just can't seem to handle new situations and now they've started writing a report -- her first full fledged report ever. The teacher has done a wonderful job of taking the kids through the task of note taking -- she's provided the outline in the form of questions to answer and once they answer the questions, they've got the note. But boy is the drama queen having trouble. She just gets herself all in tears before she even starts. I feel so bad for her but luckily we've had a good spell of no tears for the past month so I've got patience to handle it. For a day, maybe two.


Husband got a Tuesday because of my traveling. Tuesday is our bad, evil, crazy day and finally the husband got to experience it. Even the kids were all 'oh wow, dad's got a Tuesday' when they found out I was going to be gone. It was a special Tuesday too because of a performance of son's barbershop chorus at a tree lighting -- so husband had the pleasure of having to be at two places at once (those are the worst -- and I get about 4 of them a year). They all managed it just fine as I figured they would. Son even managed to find his tux pants that were sort of hidden (I knew where they were but forgot to tell anyone but son found them -- thank the gods for indpendent, self-sufficient kids).

A bed is calling my name.

From a hotel room in Los Angeles

November 14, 2005

So here I sit in a hotel room in Los Angeles. I’ve ordered room service and am watching an unknown movie staring Nicolas Cage. The guy in the next room is pounding on the wall behind me. I really wish I knew what he was doing but possibly I don’t want really want to. I do know he plugged something in so initially I was assuming he was going to be setting up like me: laptop and t.v. But now it seems like something else entirely.

So, I’ve been feeling like a real working person lately and I’d be foolish not to admit how nice it is. I appreciate my flexible life and the time I get to spend with the kids but it is also very nice to be in the adult working world on ocassion. But boy, I’m out of practice and am totally exhausted today. I got back to the hotel at 6:30 and I could only stare at the t.v. for an hour before I got the energy to order food. That’s pretty pathetic.

Oh, HBO is now going to play Sideways. Cool – I’ve got the DVD from Netflix waiting for me but I’ll just send it along back when I get home.

I’ve already had two phone calls from the princess this afternoon and I should call her now to make sure she is okay. Poor thing is having a very hard time with a new homework assignment and she just can’t manage to handle new at all. And then I’m not there which really makes things worse because on top of being stressed about her homework, she was feeling like she wanted me and not her dad who is there. Guilt and stress – sounds like my life, poor thing. I managed to get her calmed down and hopefully reassured her that she didn’t love her dad less, just that she was more used to me and the way I did things so that was more comforting when things weren’t going her way.

You know, sometimes I wonder what those kids are going to think of their childhood when they look back. Will I be the mother who was always there. Or the dope who couldn’t make her husband (and more importantly, the children’s father) come back home. Or the fool who allowed this situation to continue. Or the crazy person who didn’t want her husband back but who played the martyr. Or the evil mother who wouldn’t move to another city just because her husband did.

Possibly they’ll be able to see I just did the best I could. I really hope they get that.

Now I’m so hungry I’m not even hungry. Damn room service. 45 minutes and still no salad. Sheesh, how long does it take to bring up a salad.

I should have ordered wine. I got fizzy water instead. I need wine.

Ah, the meals over and I feel much better. Now back to work.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

A Mindless List

1. I survived election day.

2. My kids are in a particularly bad run of 'lets drive mom extra crazy'. Or a particularly good run, depending on your view point.

3. In my next life, I'm not having kids. Of course, in my next life I'll be very suited to having kids but unable and then miserable. There's no making me happy, I'm sure.

4. I'm making a master to do list in hopes that I will be able to stay focused and accomplish something.

5. I'm still sleeping way too much and still feeling way too tired all the time.

6. I'm going to LA on business for Monday and Tuesday next week.

7. This fall, I've been gone an amazing amount (for me). And yet, the restlessness continues.

8. A few times over the past few weeks, I've seriously thought of running away.

9. If I wasn't so darned attached to those bratty kids, I'd be out of here in a second.

10. I thought I lost a library book but it turned back up. Finally. Now I have to take a second mortgage to pay off the late fees.

11. My son is going to see a friend of his in a play tonight. My daughter and I are going to Target. Wow!

12. I wish my keyboard had the british pound and the euro symbols on it.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Thank God we can VOTE tomorrow!

I got a call from Warren Beatty today because you know, he really did want to know what I'm voting for tomorrow. Actually I think he wanted to tell me how to vote, but whatever. I had to hang up on him because I think I might slit my wrists if I have to listen to another political call. Oh, lets see, I've received several calls from Barbara Boxer and countless others over the past two weeks all wanting to tell me how to vote or to get my opinion on the issues. But wait, Ahnold hasn't called yet and I'm feeling kinda left out because he called my friend. Don't all Californian's deserve a call from the govenor?

On the junk mail front, I was pleased only to get three pieces of political mail today. I think that is a record low from the past two weeks. Tomorrow is the big day and I for one will be terribly glad to have it over and done with. I am voting, you betcha. Too important not too (proof of all the damned phone calls and junk mail).

Now my son of course is having the time of his life with all these phone calls. He actually listens to all the prerecorded messages and for the ones that have live callers, he plays with them. Deepens his voice, pretends to be his dad and then tells them the opposite of whatever they are trying to promote. He cracks himself up. I might be midly amused if I wasn't so sick of it all.

Tomorrow --- tomorrow -- tomorrow - tomorrow.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Yay! I've added some new pics to my flickr account. Finally. Only four of them but even I was sick of seeing the pictures from July. Now to get to the others -- maybe later!

Friday, November 04, 2005


Consider yourself lucky if you don't live in CA right now. Seems we have this special election coming up next Tuesday and it is a biggie. Proof is that I'm getting upwards of 3 phone calls a day telling me how to vote and the junk mail is horrendous. Luckily I don't watch much t.v. because I understand there are tons of those ads too. UGH. Four more day -- four more days -- four more days.

I hate the fall time change. All I want to do is sleep. I go to bed early and still can't get up in the a.m. And I'm exhausted all day. Makes me crazy.

The kids had Tuesday off of school. The school called an in service day which actually is kind of nice to have the day after Halloween. However, it has screwed up my week entirely and now next week they've got W to F off because of teacher conferences. What to do, what to do.

I'm still so restless right now I can hardly stand it. Crawling out of my skin restless.

Christmas is already coming too soon. Christmas = Stress for me and I really don't want to deal with it. Of course, my son is angry that I don't like Christmas. Poor kid -- moms are supposed to make christmas magical and all I do is complain. I suppose he'll get over it.

The drama queen (aka The Princess) has been doing fairly well lately. Homework is now managed easily. Sleeping is mostly managed. But she's developed this big desire to confess -- for instance the other night about 30 minutes after she went to bed she shows up right next to me in tears and confesses that she's been thing bad thoughts about me, thinking I was stupid, and now she feels so bad and it really isn't true and she wanted me to know it wasn't true.

The troops are home so I guess I'd better shut down now.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Overheard at Target

From adorable little boy, about 4:

"Daddy, are you a sexy gir-ril?"

Dad was stunned (and very sexy, just not a girl) and I was cracking up. Made my day!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Post Halloween Sugar High

The school scheduled a teacher in service day today which was quite smart. It was nice to not have to worry about bed times and such on Halloween night. So, guess who got up at 6:30 this morning? Yep, the princess. So now I will have her home all day and cranky! Grrrr.