File Naming

I was just going through my son's directory on this computer looking for his report on Stephen Foster so I could print it out so he can go over it again when he gets home from school. I had to laugh at some of his file names -- my favorite was:

friggin science project ^^0^^.doc

This made me realize that I'm not nearly creative enough in my file naming. I've got one file that lends itself to a name like this:

goddamn friggin spreadsheet that changes each month because PEOPLE can't make up their minds and thus causing me to redo the spreadsheet each time instead of just update it.xls

Unfortunately I have to email my spreadsheet and I'm qutie sure the person I have to email it too wouldn't see the humor in my naming. Oh that and I think MS puts a cap on the length of file names. Damn them.

Is it break time yet?

The drama queen was in rare form again last night. Actually, it is becoming less rare and more matter of routine . But we had tears and sobs from 9 to 10. That was fun. Luckily for me, my brother was here and he was just laughing. Which caused to laugh and laughing is much better than screaming so that was nice.

Two people I read have started affirmations. Little positive sayings throughout the day to reinforce good behavior. I've been playing a bit with a few and I think I've got two out of three mastered. I have lots of energy, I'm relaxed (this one not so much) and best of all I am a good sleeper (I think this one helped to translate to lots of energy). I think I need to expand a bit but I can't decide where to take the next affirmation. We'll see.

I'm getting on an airplane Thursday (at the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m.) to go visit a friend. Two other friends are going as well and I'm very excited. We're going to spend a day in Chicago, do touristy things, eat good food and have a nice visit. The best part is that I get a break. I'm in desperate need of a break. Let the husband deal with the drama queen --

Off to make dinner.

And One Other Thing....

My son is in his room teaching himself how to play AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long on his guitar.

Um, yeah.

The Positive Entry

We are now three nights of drama free homework. Wow! She seemed pretty proud of herself tonight when I congratulated her on the accomplishment.

My blood pressure is just about normal again.

My work load is getting more in control also. I was just hit with so many things at the same time if has just taken months to work it off. But the piles are smaller and my work email in box is managable. What a relief that is. I feel like I'm in handling it mode again. Until I'm not which could be at any moment I suppose.

My office is getting picked up, I've been making lots of trips to the goodwill to drop off stuff, my dining room will be painted this weekend and my grandma's hutch and dining room table will be moved in. I'm in charge of my husband's weekend to do list and he is being agreeable to that and actually working off the items.

Best of all I get to go on a girls trip next weekend.

Life is good.

Bye Bye Stress

It was low drama Tuesday. Thank the gods. I did remember to thank the princess for keeping her reactions in check with the situation and we discussed (well, I discussed, she rolled her eyes) some more about crying wolf and such. I suppose I'll do a little preemtive work this afternoon by "predicting" no tears during homework right when I pick her up from school.

Fingers crossed for me.

Another stressor has been eliminated from my schedule, one I hadn't realized was even bothering me until the sense of relief I got when I eliminated it. I was going to be driving my son to Pasadena (6 plus hour drive) on Oct 14th so he could compete in a barbershop competition, sit through the competition all day Saturday (while managing the daughter), drive back home Sunday, work two days and then get on a plane Wed the 19th to go to Dallas for 5 days (business conference but staying the weekend to visit friends). That kind of busyness tends to frazzle me so imagine my delight once I figured out that it was actually cheaper to put the boy on a plane and have my inlaws pick him up at LAX and then let husband get son from them and get the boy to Pasadena for the competition.

On another front, I said no to a request of my time for a volunteer organization I'm a member of . NO. There I said it again. I'm finding the more I say it, the easier it becomes. I also said NO to my son when he wanted to do a play this fall. It has taken several years but I think I'm getting much better at protecting my time and being realistic about what I can do.

Oh well. Must get to work.

The Princess

I don't know what I'm going to do with my daughter. She's wearing me out in a way her brother never did (and that says a lot). I'm sure it is just hormones but hardly a day goes by without tears and every few days I'm treated to a full blown meltdown. And usually it is over nothing. Or rather it is over something but the reaction doesn't match the cause.

Take today for instance. The kids weren't even home for 15 minutes when the princess went into start her homework and the next thing I hear is her wail as she throws herself on her bed. I resolve to ignore and not address her thinking it will go away but of course she seeks me out to explain, while sobbing, that she forgot her book at school and she only had three weeks to finish it and she'll never remember it and she's so stupid and she doesn't know what she'll do and her teacher will be so angry with her .

So I tell her I'm sorry she forgot her book, I'm sure her teacher will understand and why doesn't she write it down in her planner so she'll remember it tomorrow.

No, of course I don't understand (see why I wantd to stay out of it in the first place). Her teacher will be angry (not) and she's such a failure and why is this school year so hard and she'll never get the reading done in time because she'll never remember to bring the book home .

So I tell her to go have a good cry about it in her room. I'm ready to kill her -- for some reason that just makes my blood boil over and I can't figure out why I react like that.

Naturally about 5 minutes later she is back, still sobbing, fairly hysterically, and repeating some of the above. Now I get angry with her -- and send her back into her room. Obviously any amount of rational response on my behalf isn't wanted. But what does she want? And why do I get so angry? Why can't I just separate the reaction from the situation.

After she calmed down a bit I went to talk to her and explained that her reaction wasn't even close to what it should be in this situation, that is was okay to be a bit angry, fuss for a minute and then resovle to remember. I tried to explain that if she continues to overreact in these situations that when there really is a time that needs that over the top reaction, I won't even believe it.

But I'm shot and physically worn out from the encounter and I hate that. I was fine before they got home -- I can't imagine why I let this get to me in such a way. And I wonder how long I'm going to be dealing with these meltdowns.

The Week so Far

I keep telling myself I should write every day but you can see how sucessful I'm am at it. Oh well.

The kids have adjusted to school -- well my son has any way. Fourth grade is kicking my daughters butt so she's still adjusting. I don't know what it is about 4th grade, but both my kids' struggled. For my son, it didn't happen until after the Christmas break but when he got back in school after the two weeks off, the work load caused him to have meltdowns that would put any two year old to shame. And now I've been getting them with my daughter. She also makes it worse by worrying about the future -- I'll never be able to write a mission report. I can't do the science fair. I'm not ready for fourth grade. I suppose I'll find out at back to school night next week if this 'load them down with homework' is intentional or she's just slow.

The tears, though. They really need to stop. I can only seem to handle a small amount of tears then I get a little angry which really helps the situation (not). Maybe tonight I'll try just ignoring them and not reacting to the tears. Yes, that might work.

Anyhow, both kids have been awsome about getting ready in the mornings. That has been especially nice since I've been work busy and having to make quite a few phone calls in the wee early hours of the a.m. (calling London) -- it is so so so nice to have kids old enough and independent enough to fend for themselves entirely in the morning.

Time to eat a bowl of cereal and get those monsters, er darlings up.

My Aching Body

I started back into yoga yesterday. I hadn't wanted to give it up but due to the kids summer schedule it seemed I was missing more classes than I was attending so I decided to stop fretting and take two months off. Amazing how qickly the body gets out of shape -- much quicker than it takes to get in shape.

For me, the start of the school year is like the start of the new calendar year -- a time of making resolutions. They are always the same, keep better control of the house, cook better meals, and exercise. So, here we go again --

The princess is so full of drama and out of control emotions and I'm going crazy because I'm really not equiped to deal with it. What really scares me is that I think she is starting to mature physically and hormones are the cause of all this emotion -- but she's only 9. It seems way to early. We've had a summer full of huge dramatic meltdowns and it has continued this week. I'm really hoping that with the consistency of the school routine, she'll calm down a bit. It isn't looking good so far but some of that is the newness of school and the fact that a LOT more is expected from them in 4th grade and that has her worried.

I need a solo vacation. Oh, and I get one in three weeks. Thank the gods.

Whoo hoo!

I was carded today at Trader Joe's.

I've been smiling ever since!

Yeah sure, they probably have a policy of carding anyone who looks 30 but at 41, I'll take 30.

Another Year Begins...

And they're off --

That ole slience is deafening thing? There's a bit of that happening here. Well, the bird is chirping but this house is very quite of kid noise.

There has been so much drama around here lately. Most of it concerning the 9 year old. She's not been sleeping very well again, worrying about everything under the sun, and crying a lot. I'm sure it was nerves but I'm not the best person to deal with her -- I just don't have the patience. And then she's been a little snit about doing things she didn't want to do so her teacher asked for a letter from her telling the teacher about her likes and such and what she hoped to get out of 4th grade. The girl wouldn't write the letter. Everytime I reminded her over the weekend she'd put up a fuss and wouldn't do it. So naturally this morning she's in tears because she doesn't have her letter done. Honestly this must be what sends mothers everywhere over the edge.

Speaking of over the edge. I did tell husband that if son gets in trouble the first day of school, I was out of here. Gone. With no forwarding address. He looked a little worried, so possibly he took me seriously.

Well, happy first day of school to me! Now off to get some work done.