Onward

Well then.

I see it has been almost two weeks since I was last here. And what a crazy two weeks it has been. The kids being home really throw my routine and that combined with Christmas, mother visit and husband being home for this week and work have made for a continuation of the crazy schedule.

The fun never ends.

Three days before Christmas son states to me in his ohso13yearoldway – mom, this is the most disorganized Christmas EVER! Not that he was wrong or anything – but nothing like having your kid highlight how incompetent you are. Of course, I should take it as a complement on how well I usually do – and in fact that is sort of what we talked about. That yes, I usually do better. But this year, for a variety of reasons (only work for him) I’m not doing so well and instead of being a bratty self centered 13 year old, he could try and help me out. He’s been a peach ever since.

But back to the fact that he certainly had a point. I was extremely incompetent this year. I’ve been busy work wise – maybe not quite this busy but I’ve been pretty darned busy. Heck, when the kids were 3 and 7 and we were still living in TX and husband was living here in CA, I managed to pull off exciting Christmas while working (a lot) and not having help and having a whole bunch of things going on then too (of course, I’m sure rose colored glasses are on – it was probably hell then too – I just seemed to be able to pull it off even if I was going crazy – this year I wasn’t so successful at pulling anything off). Of course back then, they were young and probably not paying quite as close.

But but but -- this has to go down as the worst one yet. Crazy. I've just got to sit down and figure out why (I actually know -- I just need to write it down to remember) and then make sure it never happens again.

But all said, Christmas meal came off fine and kids were happy with their stuff. The extras faded – no Christmas cards sent, no teacher gifts delivered, etc .. but the main things got done.

Now on to 2006.

TV Time

Okay then. We’ve now officially contributed to the holiday economy by purchasing a rather large TV and audio system. Go us.

Yeesh.

It is the family gift and no other will be forthcoming for the children or adults in this family (well, stocking stuffers don’t count, do they?). So we’re extravagant but not horribly so, says she justifying the purchase that was made this afternoon.

But it’s not like we buy TV’s all that often. We only have one and it was purchased 18 years ago. So see, we were due. I can now officially guarantee that Christmas morning will be delightful in our household.

Horoscope

Today’s Horoscope:

This would be a good day to stay home and spend much of the day in bed, dear Cancer! You have been working especially hard lately, juggling both home and work with your usual aplomb. But today you may be feeling a bit worn out and overwhelmed by all that remains to be done. Give yourself a day of rest. Spend the day with a good book or some favorite DVD's. You will find this solitary time refreshing.

Sometimes they are so accurate it is scary. I slept in (until 7:00 – big woo hoo) and made it to yoga where I could hardly even do anything because of that entirely worn out feeling. On Wednesday night I had a melt down that involved wine (too much). I am feeling overwhelmed and have been for sometime so I decided that I must leave my office so I worked for a bit left around 2:00 to go do errands – I got a bunch of stuff done for Christmas. There’s more to do but I think it is manageable.

So I didn’t get the day of rest, but I did stop working --

M

My mother has taken a 12 year old girl under her wing. This young girl comes from a very rough situation – 5 brothers and sisters, different dads, mom just got out of jail, dad is in jail, lives in single wide trailer with grandma, mom (now), brothers and sisters and the oldest sister’s boyfriend. My mother had previously become involved with this family because she is a do-gooder and they needed some do-gooding. She found/bought clothes for the younger ones, helped the grandma clean up the place when the kids were taken by child protective services, and befriended this 7th grader and her 4th grade sister and started helping them with their homework after school.

Well, after a year or so that all fell apart and she stopped because while my mother is a do-gooder she likes to do good her way and the girls were having trouble meeting her expectations. This isn’t surprising given their home life but unfortunate nonetheless.

While the younger girl didn’t seem to care all that much, the older one (the 7th grader) really craved some help/attention so she hooked back up with my mother at the start of this school year. Unfortunately the situation at home was so miserable she wasn’t able to keep up with her school work (for instance, her 18 year old sister who had taken on the role of mother in their mother’s absence would make M clean the house BEFORE she even could start her homework) so my mother offered to have her stay with them during the week. All parties agreed and so that is where M now is.

We’ve seen M twice now. The first time was about a month ago when she came up here with my mom to see my nieces’ in a play. M hit it off terrifically with my daughter and both my nieces and all girls had a great weekend. When my mother and her husband decided to come up last weekend to see my son’s barbershop chorus Christmas performance, they brought M.

M’s a darling girl and looks to be thriving. You can tell sometimes how she’s amazed at what goes on around here but she likes it too. On Saturday my daughter asked her what college she wants to go to and by her reaction you could tell no on has ever just assumed she’d go to college – heck from what I hear, it isn’t assumed she’ll graduate from high school (her older sister didn’t). She had no answer so Alana just forged ahead with “well, what high school are you going to then.”

She’s cooperative, appreciative (in a way my privileged children never will be) and a joy to be around.

My mother shared her Christmas list with me. She wants a Christmas Card and a new folder for school. There are more kid like items (a portable CD player for instance) but a Christmas Card? That kind of request just breaks my heart and I think it had the same reaction for Alana because after they left yesterday I found her holding the paper with M’s address on it and she looks up at me with tears in her eyes and said “she’s never gotten a Christmas card before.” I reassured Alana that we would take care of that this year and between all of us (grandma and aunt L) that M would indeed get lots of Christmas cards. We are including a Claire’s gift certificate and little erasers and goodies from the Japanese paper store.

No matter what else happens during the rest of this holiday season, I know we’ll get this one right. That makes me happy.

I just looked through the past few entries and noticed I'm saying the same thing over and over. Yikes. I didn't even realize I was repeating myself.

Look at my horoscope today:

Today you may feel a bit overwhelmed with obligations and commitments to friends and organizations. There is not a moment free to yourself, not even to go to the bathroom. Clearly, something is out of balance here, dear Cancer. It is time for you to once again take charge of your life. It is wonderful that you have such a giving and generous spirit, but you do no one any favors if you burn out from exhaustion. Take some time for yourself to refill the well of your soul.

See, I'm so overwhelmed I can't even keep track of my thoughts and writings. What a nut.

Bzzzz Bzzzzz

I want to complain about being so busy but I won't because a.) who isn't and b.) usually when people complain about being busy it is their own fault. Yeah, so I'll own my busy-ness but that doesn't alway make it any easier.

Suffice it to say, this is the worst I've ever been at Christmas time. I've managed busy and Christmas before (not alway well, but I've manged it) but I'm failing miserably this year. I'm even starting to make myself a bit nervous and it isn't helped by the fact that for some reason my son has very high expectations this year. Not necessairly for a big gift but he keeps talking about this being the best Christmas ever -- mostly because my brother and his family now live two miles from us and we'll be spending it with them, my mother and her husband then my SIL's parents. My son loves a big gathering and while this isn't huge, it will be bigger than many years. He's trying to plan shopping trips and looking forward to the chaos of the gathering. Me? I just want to run away. And I'd probably be gone if it weren't for these kids of mine.

Christmas has turned into such a hassle for me and I'm really quite sad about that. It has become a month of just more stuff to do and I'm sure by the year I figure out how to handle it all, they kids will be out of the house and I'll be boo hooing their absence. I wish I could figure out how to fix that.

Party Tonight

I was awakened at 2:30 this morning by heavy footsteps in the house. Scared me to death, it did. Seems my husband came back a day earlier than normal but neglected to inform me of his plans so there I was, in bed, mostly asleep and wondering if the kids and I were going to die. Then it became clear it was husband because he went into the bathroom! Of course he says he told me he was coming when I asked what in the heck he was doing scaring me like that but really, I do pay attention and earlier in the week when I reminded him of the thing we have to go to tonight all he said was that he'd be there. For the past two years he just drove up on Friday afternoon but this year he acted like I should have known he'd come the night before.

And we wonder why I'm loosing my mind.

And I'm loosing my sleep because is it even possible to go back to sleep after you've been scared to death in the middle of the night? No way.

So, we go to this fancy dancy ball tonight. I'm going to be a bit casual in just a cocktail dress but I didn't have really fancy dress in me this year. Well, actually I did. I found a bunch of amazingly wonderful vintage dresses on eB&y but I wasn't sure I could get one in time to get it cleaned and altered if necessary so I decided to just use what I have. The party will be fun any which way -- there will be dancing and I need dancing right now.

A List

1. I've done NOTHING towards Christmas.

2. I look at the calendar and feel like crying.

3. My son is so excited about Christmas because my brother and his family are here and my mother and her husband are coming up so it will be a big deal! He loves big deals. I don't.

4. I agreed to a flocked tree. I remember wanting one as a kid and not getting -- so he wants one and he'll get it.

5. He thinks the flocked tree will make all of Christmas that much more special.

6. I do wish I could capture the magic of knowing a flocked tree will make Christmas more special.

7. I'm in desperate need of magic.

8. I had my 35 item to do list down to 20 items and now it is back up to 33 items. None of these items relate in any way to getting ready for Christmas.

9. WAH!

Big To Do's and No Motivation

Back to the land of obligations.

Our drive home yesterday was uneventful. We made awesome time and got from El Segundo to San Jose in 5.5 hours including a 30 minuted lunch break. I was flying. I did notice a bunch of southbound traffic leaving SJ when we were coming in which confirmed my decision to leave early and leave on Saturday. It will be a parking lot out there today.

I managed laundry and grocery shopping yesterday so I've got that done. I should have worked last night but spent it IM chatting with a friend and looking at vintage cocktail dresses in eBay. Of course that was more fun but here I sit, still procrastinating on the work thing. I was going to get up early and that didn't happen and now I'm stalling in any way I can. Not good for someone with a 35 item to do list and a busy week.

If I'd just start -- I'd actually get things done. Okay, I'm going.

Post Thanksgiving

November 25, 2005

Well, thanksgiving is over and I’m already antsy to get back to work as crazy as that sounds. I’ve got so much to do and next week is very crazy because of this volunteer thing I do so I’ve actually got to do a bunch of work this weekend. Today we will do somehting around here and then tomorrow I’ve got to drive back up the state and then on Sunday there is a bunch of errands and stuff to do and then Monday ….. ack. I need to go home today but I think my kids would kill me.

Fingers crossed that the drive back up the state goes well. I’m leaving Saturday to (hopefully) miss the traffic on I5 going back home. The drive down here was fine until we got within 20 miles of my sister in law’s house – that last 20 miles took one hour and 45 minutes (hate hate hate LA traffic). But I’ve sat on I5 on thanksgiving weekend and that isn’t any fun either so I’m hopeful that leaving Saturday willl be better than leaving Sunday.

Being in Thanksgiving and all, I need to remind myself what I am thankful for:

1. Being within driving distance of family so we actually do get to see them on holidays
2. My kids – as much as I complain, they are wonderful kids. And self sufficient – my son did his entire packing for this trip without any help/review from me. For my daughter, after she had everything out she wanted to take, I reviewed it, put back a random pair of shorts, added a pair of jeans and two t-shirts and that was it. She had everything else perfect. And when I was gone last week, my son found his (fairly) hidden tux pants all by himeself (even though I paniced mid afternoon when I realized he might not know where they were). And when I finally called, he said “mom, I’m wearing them right now and I’ve got it taken care of.”
3. My work – interesting and fun(at times) and it has expanded from part time to full time right when I needed it to but because I’m at home, I still have a bunch of flexibility to run the kids to their activities and just be present in the afternoons. I’m so very lucky in that regard.
4. My health – kinda cliché but there you go
5. Choices – and being adult enough enough to recognize this (I’m a slow learner).

And with that, I’ll go get some breakfast. I hope it was a nice Thanksgiving for everyone.

LA Again

I'm off this afternoon to drive to Los Angeles. Oh I dread that drive -- there isn't much redeming about it -- actually there is nothing redeming about it. It is a miserable drive and today because we are leaving at 12:30 (when the kids get out of school) I'll be landing in LA at peak traffic hours. And that means it will take 2 hours to do the last 30 miles of the drive. The anticipation of that just makes me want to cry.

The one thing I hope to acomplish in the next four or five days is to get a good to-do list down for the next month because I'm really starting to worry. I've got NOTHING even thought about for Christmas and I've got so much work to do right now, I'm really overwhelmed.

Oops just looked at the clock -- the kids need to be up early to get their things together. Outta here. Happy Thanksgiving.

Yep

Your Inner Retro Girl Is

1960s Mod Girl

What Retro Girl Are You?

Pooped, Drama and Tuesday

Here I sit looking around me at the piles of work to be done. I'm exhausted. Two days in LA for work and I'm pooped. I think back to my younger working days, pre-kids and marvel at the stamina I had back then. All nighters, traveling -- boy am I such a wuss now. Of course it didn't help that I didn't sleep much while gone. The street noise at the hotel was so loud and I was pretty wound up. Then last night when I was supposed to be catching back up, I was awake for two hours remembering things that didn't get accomplished. Tonight should be much better.

~~~~

I am back to drama with the drama queen. Poor thing just can't seem to handle new situations and now they've started writing a report -- her first full fledged report ever. The teacher has done a wonderful job of taking the kids through the task of note taking -- she's provided the outline in the form of questions to answer and once they answer the questions, they've got the note. But boy is the drama queen having trouble. She just gets herself all in tears before she even starts. I feel so bad for her but luckily we've had a good spell of no tears for the past month so I've got patience to handle it. For a day, maybe two.

~~~~

Husband got a Tuesday because of my traveling. Tuesday is our bad, evil, crazy day and finally the husband got to experience it. Even the kids were all 'oh wow, dad's got a Tuesday' when they found out I was going to be gone. It was a special Tuesday too because of a performance of son's barbershop chorus at a tree lighting -- so husband had the pleasure of having to be at two places at once (those are the worst -- and I get about 4 of them a year). They all managed it just fine as I figured they would. Son even managed to find his tux pants that were sort of hidden (I knew where they were but forgot to tell anyone but son found them -- thank the gods for indpendent, self-sufficient kids).

A bed is calling my name.

From a hotel room in Los Angeles

November 14, 2005

So here I sit in a hotel room in Los Angeles. I’ve ordered room service and am watching an unknown movie staring Nicolas Cage. The guy in the next room is pounding on the wall behind me. I really wish I knew what he was doing but possibly I don’t want really want to. I do know he plugged something in so initially I was assuming he was going to be setting up like me: laptop and t.v. But now it seems like something else entirely.

So, I’ve been feeling like a real working person lately and I’d be foolish not to admit how nice it is. I appreciate my flexible life and the time I get to spend with the kids but it is also very nice to be in the adult working world on ocassion. But boy, I’m out of practice and am totally exhausted today. I got back to the hotel at 6:30 and I could only stare at the t.v. for an hour before I got the energy to order food. That’s pretty pathetic.

Oh, HBO is now going to play Sideways. Cool – I’ve got the DVD from Netflix waiting for me but I’ll just send it along back when I get home.

I’ve already had two phone calls from the princess this afternoon and I should call her now to make sure she is okay. Poor thing is having a very hard time with a new homework assignment and she just can’t manage to handle new at all. And then I’m not there which really makes things worse because on top of being stressed about her homework, she was feeling like she wanted me and not her dad who is there. Guilt and stress – sounds like my life, poor thing. I managed to get her calmed down and hopefully reassured her that she didn’t love her dad less, just that she was more used to me and the way I did things so that was more comforting when things weren’t going her way.

You know, sometimes I wonder what those kids are going to think of their childhood when they look back. Will I be the mother who was always there. Or the dope who couldn’t make her husband (and more importantly, the children’s father) come back home. Or the fool who allowed this situation to continue. Or the crazy person who didn’t want her husband back but who played the martyr. Or the evil mother who wouldn’t move to another city just because her husband did.

Possibly they’ll be able to see I just did the best I could. I really hope they get that.

Now I’m so hungry I’m not even hungry. Damn room service. 45 minutes and still no salad. Sheesh, how long does it take to bring up a salad.

I should have ordered wine. I got fizzy water instead. I need wine.

Ah, the meals over and I feel much better. Now back to work.

A Mindless List

1. I survived election day.

2. My kids are in a particularly bad run of 'lets drive mom extra crazy'. Or a particularly good run, depending on your view point.

3. In my next life, I'm not having kids. Of course, in my next life I'll be very suited to having kids but unable and then miserable. There's no making me happy, I'm sure.

4. I'm making a master to do list in hopes that I will be able to stay focused and accomplish something.

5. I'm still sleeping way too much and still feeling way too tired all the time.

6. I'm going to LA on business for Monday and Tuesday next week.

7. This fall, I've been gone an amazing amount (for me). And yet, the restlessness continues.

8. A few times over the past few weeks, I've seriously thought of running away.

9. If I wasn't so darned attached to those bratty kids, I'd be out of here in a second.

10. I thought I lost a library book but it turned back up. Finally. Now I have to take a second mortgage to pay off the late fees.

11. My son is going to see a friend of his in a play tonight. My daughter and I are going to Target. Wow!

12. I wish my keyboard had the british pound and the euro symbols on it.

Thank God we can VOTE tomorrow!

I got a call from Warren Beatty today because you know, he really did want to know what I'm voting for tomorrow. Actually I think he wanted to tell me how to vote, but whatever. I had to hang up on him because I think I might slit my wrists if I have to listen to another political call. Oh, lets see, I've received several calls from Barbara Boxer and countless others over the past two weeks all wanting to tell me how to vote or to get my opinion on the issues. But wait, Ahnold hasn't called yet and I'm feeling kinda left out because he called my friend. Don't all Californian's deserve a call from the govenor?

On the junk mail front, I was pleased only to get three pieces of political mail today. I think that is a record low from the past two weeks. Tomorrow is the big day and I for one will be terribly glad to have it over and done with. I am voting, you betcha. Too important not too (proof of all the damned phone calls and junk mail).

Now my son of course is having the time of his life with all these phone calls. He actually listens to all the prerecorded messages and for the ones that have live callers, he plays with them. Deepens his voice, pretends to be his dad and then tells them the opposite of whatever they are trying to promote. He cracks himself up. I might be midly amused if I wasn't so sick of it all.

Tomorrow --- tomorrow -- tomorrow - tomorrow.

Pictures

Yay! I've added some new pics to my flickr account. Finally. Only four of them but even I was sick of seeing the pictures from July. Now to get to the others -- maybe later!

Nonsense

Consider yourself lucky if you don't live in CA right now. Seems we have this special election coming up next Tuesday and it is a biggie. Proof is that I'm getting upwards of 3 phone calls a day telling me how to vote and the junk mail is horrendous. Luckily I don't watch much t.v. because I understand there are tons of those ads too. UGH. Four more day -- four more days -- four more days.

I hate the fall time change. All I want to do is sleep. I go to bed early and still can't get up in the a.m. And I'm exhausted all day. Makes me crazy.

The kids had Tuesday off of school. The school called an in service day which actually is kind of nice to have the day after Halloween. However, it has screwed up my week entirely and now next week they've got W to F off because of teacher conferences. What to do, what to do.

I'm still so restless right now I can hardly stand it. Crawling out of my skin restless.

Christmas is already coming too soon. Christmas = Stress for me and I really don't want to deal with it. Of course, my son is angry that I don't like Christmas. Poor kid -- moms are supposed to make christmas magical and all I do is complain. I suppose he'll get over it.

The drama queen (aka The Princess) has been doing fairly well lately. Homework is now managed easily. Sleeping is mostly managed. But she's developed this big desire to confess -- for instance the other night about 30 minutes after she went to bed she shows up right next to me in tears and confesses that she's been thing bad thoughts about me, thinking I was stupid, and now she feels so bad and it really isn't true and she wanted me to know it wasn't true.

The troops are home so I guess I'd better shut down now.

Overheard at Target

From adorable little boy, about 4:

"Daddy, are you a sexy gir-ril?"

Dad was stunned (and very sexy, just not a girl) and I was cracking up. Made my day!

Post Halloween Sugar High

The school scheduled a teacher in service day today which was quite smart. It was nice to not have to worry about bed times and such on Halloween night. So, guess who got up at 6:30 this morning? Yep, the princess. So now I will have her home all day and cranky! Grrrr.

Restless

My I've been feeling restless lately. Odd since I've actually 'gotten out' several times over the past month. You'd think I'd be feeling all content - but no. Maybe that is the problem, too much away time makes me realize I'm just not happy in the day to day. Oh dear.

The princess' class play was last week and she was the Cat in Pinocchio. She was so good -- I know I'm her mom and I know I'm supposed to say that but really, she was. So it would seem that I've got two theatre kids -- considering there is no way in the world I'd ever do anything like that, it kind of amazes me that these kids of mine will get up on a stage, perform and not be all that nervous about it. Good for them because this skill will serve them well in life.

More to say but it is time to get the troops up. Good morning world.

Singing in the Rain

My son cannot even turn on the water to the shower without singing. No matter how tired, grouchy or hardly awake he is, the second he turns on the water he starts to sing.

I like that about him.

Big D

Things I enjoy when I'm in Dallas:

1. Men in cowboy hats and boots.
2. Those adorable Texas accents.
3. That big sky. I often forget how big sky can actually be.
4. Swirls
5. Friends

It was a good trip. Settling back in reality is proving to be a bit tricky though.

Okay Then....

Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to update for quite some time now but for all the blog entries that get written in my head, none have seemed to make it to the computer.

There's a hundred things to say and nothing to say really. I'm fine, the princess was a mess last week but appears to be fine again, my son is very fine and just came back from a weekend in LA with his barbershop men (and his dad). My office is cleaner than it has been in a long time, my bedroom is cleaned up, my dining room is painted and I've got my great-grandmothers hutch in there along with my grandma's dining room table, I took 10 bags of junk to Goodwill yesterday and I've got another two bags ready to go (along with a shelf thingie), I'm a bit behind on work stuff and won't be able to catch up tomorrow because I've got a meeting with son's p.e. teacher who is being a bully (the teacher, not my son), I'm going to Dallas on Wednesday and it is hot there so I don't have much to wear and I have to go to a fancy thing on Friday night and I'm not sure what to take and I'm not sure when I'll be able to get something and and....

I'd like to talk more about my son's p.e. teacher but it is lengthy and it only upsets me and I have to try to get some sleep tonight. I've wracked (sp?) my brain and I can't even come up with a time it would ever be appropriate to tell a kid: 'now that you keep getting in trouble I'll be able to put you out of my class and I won't have to deal with you.' Think it? Certainly. Say it? Never. And especially in a situation that was an accident but of course the p.e. teacher had several other sarcastic remarks when my son tried to explain it was an accident. The kid has caused some of this on himself but yeesh, but it looks like to me it has gotten out of line. The conversation with the assistent principal went fairly well but of course she has to check out the comments and thus the meeting with all of us on Monday. But I have two kids telling me he said this so it will be interesting to see what the spin will be tomorrow.

I'm not very good at confrontation but I'm finally pissed off enough. I've been dealing with lots of unreasonableness lately so my tolerance is extremely low.

Send me strong thoughts at 10:00 a.m. PDT tomorrow.

File Naming

I was just going through my son's directory on this computer looking for his report on Stephen Foster so I could print it out so he can go over it again when he gets home from school. I had to laugh at some of his file names -- my favorite was:

friggin science project ^^0^^.doc

This made me realize that I'm not nearly creative enough in my file naming. I've got one file that lends itself to a name like this:

goddamn friggin spreadsheet that changes each month because PEOPLE can't make up their minds and thus causing me to redo the spreadsheet each time instead of just update it.xls

Unfortunately I have to email my spreadsheet and I'm qutie sure the person I have to email it too wouldn't see the humor in my naming. Oh that and I think MS puts a cap on the length of file names. Damn them.

Is it break time yet?

The drama queen was in rare form again last night. Actually, it is becoming less rare and more matter of routine . But we had tears and sobs from 9 to 10. That was fun. Luckily for me, my brother was here and he was just laughing. Which caused to laugh and laughing is much better than screaming so that was nice.

Two people I read have started affirmations. Little positive sayings throughout the day to reinforce good behavior. I've been playing a bit with a few and I think I've got two out of three mastered. I have lots of energy, I'm relaxed (this one not so much) and best of all I am a good sleeper (I think this one helped to translate to lots of energy). I think I need to expand a bit but I can't decide where to take the next affirmation. We'll see.

I'm getting on an airplane Thursday (at the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m.) to go visit a friend. Two other friends are going as well and I'm very excited. We're going to spend a day in Chicago, do touristy things, eat good food and have a nice visit. The best part is that I get a break. I'm in desperate need of a break. Let the husband deal with the drama queen --

Off to make dinner.

And One Other Thing....

My son is in his room teaching himself how to play AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long on his guitar.

Um, yeah.

The Positive Entry

We are now three nights of drama free homework. Wow! She seemed pretty proud of herself tonight when I congratulated her on the accomplishment.

My blood pressure is just about normal again.

My work load is getting more in control also. I was just hit with so many things at the same time if has just taken months to work it off. But the piles are smaller and my work email in box is managable. What a relief that is. I feel like I'm in handling it mode again. Until I'm not which could be at any moment I suppose.

My office is getting picked up, I've been making lots of trips to the goodwill to drop off stuff, my dining room will be painted this weekend and my grandma's hutch and dining room table will be moved in. I'm in charge of my husband's weekend to do list and he is being agreeable to that and actually working off the items.

Best of all I get to go on a girls trip next weekend.

Life is good.

Bye Bye Stress

It was low drama Tuesday. Thank the gods. I did remember to thank the princess for keeping her reactions in check with the situation and we discussed (well, I discussed, she rolled her eyes) some more about crying wolf and such. I suppose I'll do a little preemtive work this afternoon by "predicting" no tears during homework right when I pick her up from school.

Fingers crossed for me.

Another stressor has been eliminated from my schedule, one I hadn't realized was even bothering me until the sense of relief I got when I eliminated it. I was going to be driving my son to Pasadena (6 plus hour drive) on Oct 14th so he could compete in a barbershop competition, sit through the competition all day Saturday (while managing the daughter), drive back home Sunday, work two days and then get on a plane Wed the 19th to go to Dallas for 5 days (business conference but staying the weekend to visit friends). That kind of busyness tends to frazzle me so imagine my delight once I figured out that it was actually cheaper to put the boy on a plane and have my inlaws pick him up at LAX and then let husband get son from them and get the boy to Pasadena for the competition.

On another front, I said no to a request of my time for a volunteer organization I'm a member of . NO. There I said it again. I'm finding the more I say it, the easier it becomes. I also said NO to my son when he wanted to do a play this fall. It has taken several years but I think I'm getting much better at protecting my time and being realistic about what I can do.

Oh well. Must get to work.

The Princess

I don't know what I'm going to do with my daughter. She's wearing me out in a way her brother never did (and that says a lot). I'm sure it is just hormones but hardly a day goes by without tears and every few days I'm treated to a full blown meltdown. And usually it is over nothing. Or rather it is over something but the reaction doesn't match the cause.

Take today for instance. The kids weren't even home for 15 minutes when the princess went into start her homework and the next thing I hear is her wail as she throws herself on her bed. I resolve to ignore and not address her thinking it will go away but of course she seeks me out to explain, while sobbing, that she forgot her book at school and she only had three weeks to finish it and she'll never remember it and she's so stupid and she doesn't know what she'll do and her teacher will be so angry with her .

So I tell her I'm sorry she forgot her book, I'm sure her teacher will understand and why doesn't she write it down in her planner so she'll remember it tomorrow.

No, of course I don't understand (see why I wantd to stay out of it in the first place). Her teacher will be angry (not) and she's such a failure and why is this school year so hard and she'll never get the reading done in time because she'll never remember to bring the book home .

So I tell her to go have a good cry about it in her room. I'm ready to kill her -- for some reason that just makes my blood boil over and I can't figure out why I react like that.

Naturally about 5 minutes later she is back, still sobbing, fairly hysterically, and repeating some of the above. Now I get angry with her -- and send her back into her room. Obviously any amount of rational response on my behalf isn't wanted. But what does she want? And why do I get so angry? Why can't I just separate the reaction from the situation.

After she calmed down a bit I went to talk to her and explained that her reaction wasn't even close to what it should be in this situation, that is was okay to be a bit angry, fuss for a minute and then resovle to remember. I tried to explain that if she continues to overreact in these situations that when there really is a time that needs that over the top reaction, I won't even believe it.

But I'm shot and physically worn out from the encounter and I hate that. I was fine before they got home -- I can't imagine why I let this get to me in such a way. And I wonder how long I'm going to be dealing with these meltdowns.

The Week so Far

I keep telling myself I should write every day but you can see how sucessful I'm am at it. Oh well.

The kids have adjusted to school -- well my son has any way. Fourth grade is kicking my daughters butt so she's still adjusting. I don't know what it is about 4th grade, but both my kids' struggled. For my son, it didn't happen until after the Christmas break but when he got back in school after the two weeks off, the work load caused him to have meltdowns that would put any two year old to shame. And now I've been getting them with my daughter. She also makes it worse by worrying about the future -- I'll never be able to write a mission report. I can't do the science fair. I'm not ready for fourth grade. I suppose I'll find out at back to school night next week if this 'load them down with homework' is intentional or she's just slow.

The tears, though. They really need to stop. I can only seem to handle a small amount of tears then I get a little angry which really helps the situation (not). Maybe tonight I'll try just ignoring them and not reacting to the tears. Yes, that might work.

Anyhow, both kids have been awsome about getting ready in the mornings. That has been especially nice since I've been work busy and having to make quite a few phone calls in the wee early hours of the a.m. (calling London) -- it is so so so nice to have kids old enough and independent enough to fend for themselves entirely in the morning.

Time to eat a bowl of cereal and get those monsters, er darlings up.

My Aching Body

I started back into yoga yesterday. I hadn't wanted to give it up but due to the kids summer schedule it seemed I was missing more classes than I was attending so I decided to stop fretting and take two months off. Amazing how qickly the body gets out of shape -- much quicker than it takes to get in shape.

For me, the start of the school year is like the start of the new calendar year -- a time of making resolutions. They are always the same, keep better control of the house, cook better meals, and exercise. So, here we go again --

The princess is so full of drama and out of control emotions and I'm going crazy because I'm really not equiped to deal with it. What really scares me is that I think she is starting to mature physically and hormones are the cause of all this emotion -- but she's only 9. It seems way to early. We've had a summer full of huge dramatic meltdowns and it has continued this week. I'm really hoping that with the consistency of the school routine, she'll calm down a bit. It isn't looking good so far but some of that is the newness of school and the fact that a LOT more is expected from them in 4th grade and that has her worried.

I need a solo vacation. Oh, and I get one in three weeks. Thank the gods.

Whoo hoo!

I was carded today at Trader Joe's.

I've been smiling ever since!

Yeah sure, they probably have a policy of carding anyone who looks 30 but at 41, I'll take 30.

Another Year Begins...

And they're off --

That ole slience is deafening thing? There's a bit of that happening here. Well, the bird is chirping but this house is very quite of kid noise.

There has been so much drama around here lately. Most of it concerning the 9 year old. She's not been sleeping very well again, worrying about everything under the sun, and crying a lot. I'm sure it was nerves but I'm not the best person to deal with her -- I just don't have the patience. And then she's been a little snit about doing things she didn't want to do so her teacher asked for a letter from her telling the teacher about her likes and such and what she hoped to get out of 4th grade. The girl wouldn't write the letter. Everytime I reminded her over the weekend she'd put up a fuss and wouldn't do it. So naturally this morning she's in tears because she doesn't have her letter done. Honestly this must be what sends mothers everywhere over the edge.

Speaking of over the edge. I did tell husband that if son gets in trouble the first day of school, I was out of here. Gone. With no forwarding address. He looked a little worried, so possibly he took me seriously.

Well, happy first day of school to me! Now off to get some work done.

What to do...

What to do, what to do? I could stay here at my computer, catching up with reading blogs and possible IMing with a friend if she shows up. I could update flickr with pictures from our trip. I could write about our trip.

Or, I could go sit on my butt and watch t.v.

I can hardly decide.

Winding Down

This is the point in the summer when I'm so ready for the kids to go back to school. And they are ready too. We've not even left yet for the family trip and school doesn't even start until after labor day. But lord we need a routine and we need it bad.

The world traveller showed up on Monday night full of fun tales and excitement. It is very nice to have him back with me though a bit of retraining is in order -- like leaving your shorts in the family room will cause me to go a bit bezerk. But all in all, I've got my boy back and I'm happy.

We leave on Friday morning to go to LA for a couple of days and then on to San Diego for all of next week. It has been about 8 years since we've been to SD so it is time to do the SD things like the zoo and Sea World and Old Town. Oh yes, and the beaches. Sure we've got beaches up here but they are warmer down there. So that should be fun though I'm not looking forward to another drive down the state. Driving up and down CA drives me a bit batty and also causes me pain in the hips. Oh well.

Sometimes though, going on vacation is more trouble than it is worth. Trying to get work to a point I can leave, trying to get the kids ready and trying to get myself ready. I'm exhausted at the start and that is no fun either. Again, oh well.

That's all the news that is fit to print at this point.

Nauseous

Oh my. The princess and I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the local IMAX theater. I've seen bunches of IMAX movies without incident but this one jsut about did me in. I've been feeling queazy and one step from throwing up ever since.

I can only think it is because this was a full length movie and thus I was subjected to the motion feeling longer -- I dunno but I don't like it. I also didn't like watching a regular movie in that theater -- there is such a thing as being too close and I didn't like that at all.

Ah well, I'm gonna take my squishy stomach to the couch to watch So You Think You Can Dance! Yeah, that will settle things.

T-Shirts

In every picture I see of my son, he is wearing a new t-shirt. It looks like he will come home with a new supply of shirts from the UK. For some reason that just cracks me up.

Life is Good

The internet is a wonderful thing. We may all laugh about being in touch and available 24/7 with cell phones and email but really, I wouldn't change it for the world. How else would I know my 13 year old is having a wonderful time in London while I sit here in San Jose?

I got the email when I woke up, he called me this morning (he missed me only because he didn't call my cell) and now I've seen pictures of his day.

I'm feeling pretty happy.

I've Heard From Him!

hey mom its austin and im sorry that i havent called you. the calling card
thing is only open from like 10:30 till 8:00 and i have been touring
london during that time. the trip is going great and i am buying alot of
stuff for alana and me. i am buying my events on the card and food in
cash. hope you and alana are having fun.
love you
austin

My Goodness

I had actually though that last week was supposed to be ho hum, mundane, kinda boring but what do I know. It was crazy per usual lately but it is over. Alana had fun at her girls club camp and doing her play -- she was an indian in Peter Pan.

Tomorrow I put my 13 year old son on a plane to go to London. Am I nuts? For 15 days he will be in London then Edinburgh -- and his parents will be 6000 miles away in CA. I'm a little nervous. I know he will be fine and other than right when he gets there and is very tired, I don't expect he will have any amount of homesickness. I'm also fine that he will be well looked after -- liability insurance at the high school he is doing this with says that he has to be watched constantly and the director has a bunch of cool things up his sleeve to entertain him with. I'm just a bit nervous about the flight. I'm not really scared of flying but I HATE HATE HATE my kids flying without me because I figure if somehting happens, I want to go with them. He did his first solo flight last summer to Harmony College in St. Joseph, MO and that entailed 3 take offs and 3 landings each way and he was fine. He went to SoCal last fall to go to Catalina Island and he was fine. My neighbor just was in Germany and made both trips and was fine. He will be fine. And I will be tracking the flight until it lands. I'll be the most fine when he is in Edinburgh but really, just let the plane get there and I won't say another word.

So, get this (and how lucky is this little 13 year old --- we all can say EXTREMELY LUCKY!), he gets to London Tuesday a.m. and they do a bus tour the rest of the day. Then they have two days of unscheduled time where the director will take him too all the cool stuff in London. They get to see two shows as a group -- We Will Rock You and Mary Poppins. Then the director scored tickes to Billy Elliott The Musical which will be very cool for him. Then they get on a train (and Kings Cross Station -- I need to remind him to find Platform 9 3/4 for me!!!) to go to Edinburgh where their days will be packed with sightseeing along with the 4 performances the group does at the Fringe. Oh, and if you happen to be in Edinburgh, please go see him. And let me know how he is because I won't get to see him until he is back on the 15th.

Anyway, I think he gets how lucky he is. At least a little bit. He's been saying a lot of thank yous today as I get him ready to go. I'm a little teary though. He is my baby. No matter how much he has grown, no matter how much he tells me he is a man now (yeah right) and no matter that he can be away from me for 15 days and totally cool with that. I wouldn't have it any other way but I'm entitled to a bit of boo hoo time. I'll try not to cry when the bus to the airport pulls away tomorrow afternoon -- but no guarantees.

Done

Done. Finished. Completed. Harry Potter -- Book 6. I feel so behind becasue I didn't get my copy until Monday and then really didn't have time to read it during the week but you can see I managed (thanks to some sleepless nights, grrrrr).

Okay, it has still been a whirlwind around here. I left off mentioning my grandma died. That entailed a roadtrip to LA for last weekend. Now that my brother is here, we decided to caravan down there. Ah, but before we could leave they decided to check out one more house to rent -- even though they had already found one two days earlier and put a deposit down. This one is closer to me, nicer house, cheaper so they went with it. But, it got us started on the road a bit late so we hit LA at 5:00 pm on a Friday.

We were supposed to go to my grandma's house first, to change and clean up but since we were making no progress getting through LA my dad told us to go straight to the cemetary so the 7 of us show up to the viewing looking road ragged, sweaty and generally a mess. But we made it with an hour to spare. It was a bit tough but I said my good-bye with my kids. We all decided grandma looked so much better than she had two weeks earlier. I suppose it is rather sad when you look better dead but she looked so miserable and sunken in when we had seen her before that she now looked peacefully asleep.

The funeral was Saturday at her church and was very nice. She was quite an active woman and very involved in her church and community. Her one daughter gave a moving tribute and there was lots of singing. We went back to the cemetary for the grave side service (really a few words) and my kids actually had fun being a part of a funeral procession -- but lets face it, what's not to like about getting to run red lights with a cop telling you to. Of course my son was competitive even in this and when we were towards the end of the line, he was all about us trying to improve our spot (of course for him being at the front was better!). Grandma is burried right next to grandpa and we all peaked into the hole and said hi to grandpa (their spots will touch). They are in a beautiful spot and together so I guess that is all anyone can ask for.

The rest of the weekend was spent getting a trailer for stuff I was taking back up here, having a great family time at my aunts Saturday evening and then driving back up to San Jose on Sunday where we proved that it IS possible to hit ever rest stop and bathroom along Hwy 5. I'm hear to say that 3 adults and 4 kids on different potty schedules makes for a LONG trip.

The rest of this past week has been fairly unevenful but busy. I'll go into more and post pictures of the princess birthday party later. I'm still in catch up mode (and not being very sucessful).

Sad

Today my grandma died.

May you be in a happier place, grandma. I love you.

Canon

Canon
Originally uploaded by Tricia D.

We saw this truck pulling a trailer with two canon's on it when we were driving home from Santa Barbara last weekend. This is a close up -- a bit blurry because son was taking it from the car and through the window. But you get the idea.

I went ahead and posted some more pics at flickr. Mostly my kids at the beach (this is getting a bit old, I'm sure).

Happy weekend -- I MUST get busy. There is still a bunch to do for the party!

Whew...

I'm in manic mode. Who knew I even had manic mode. Usually I'm a slug joking that I'm a lazy person living a busy person's life. Not this week. No laziness allowed.

I just want to get a few things down so I don't forget but it will mostly be a chronological listing of the last weeks activities.

First off, the kids and I drove to Santa Barbara last Friday. It was slow to get out of San Jose but we made up good time once we got south of Salinas. Not much else happened that evening because it was about 8:30 when we arrived.

Saturday we went into LA to see my grandma. That was actually very difficult. I didn't expect to react as strongly as I did. My kids did great though because I fell apart right away, they had a bit of a hard time. But we all went in right away and she definitely recognized us and was very happy to see us. But she could hardly talk and was so thin -- that is why my son had the hardest time with. She was skeletal, so thin you could see her veins and her cheeks were so sunken in. It was very obvious that we were looking at death but Austin still stayed with her initially and told her all about his trip to Scotland that is coming up. He didn't go back in the rest fo the day though and that wasn't a problem. Alana did great too and went in several times with me. The last time Alana and I went back, right before we left, she didn't recognize us. She wanted to know if we were sisters and asked if I was someone else. But we talked to her a bit and then she wanted to touch my hair because it was so thick, like Tricia's. I kept telling her 'grandma, I am Tricia' but I don't think she got it.

So that is it. She's been in and out all week and the hospice nurses don't think it will be too much longer.

We went back to SB that night and went to the art walk and the beach on Sunday. The kids and I came back up this way on Monday and then went to a friend's for fireworks on Monday night.

On Tuesday at 12:30 my brother, his wife and their two girls roll into town. They are moving from outside of Detroit to the bay area. My brother is in the Coast Guard and they will spend the next 4 or 5 years here. Excited doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about this - beyond elated is more accurate. We've not lived in the same area for the past 20 years when he left to go join the service so this will be such a treat. His girls are 7 and almost 9 and they hooked up with my daughter like they were long lost sisters. They were instant friends and so darned cute together. Poor Austin, his cousins started busting on him right away so he mostly rolls his eyes in disgust and wonders how he managed to add additional sisters to his list of woes.

Anyhow, the rest of the week has been a bit of a circus. They've been here every night until tonight, we're watching their parakeets and guinea pigs, and we're trying to not sway them too much on where WE want them to live (next door would be fun!). Brother will be working at SFO so the list of places he can live is pretty big so it makes it a bit tricky to find the right place at the right price with the right schools.

Tomorrow is Alana's birthday party. Her birthday was back in June but who can manage a birthday celebration at the end of school - not I, certainly. So we pushed it off until this weekend with the added benefit that we could invite her cousins and this is working out great. However, on top of all else that is going on, I've been trying to get ready for the party. We're pretty close to being set and I told husband that when he gets home tonight he'd better go into the garage and the back yard to see all the work I've done and that I expect exclamations of appreciation of the work. My SIL helped immensely with the back yard and I was very lucky to have that help.

Oh, and tonight was the little boy across the street's birthday. He is 2 and a love --- we all just adore him so when I found out his mother didn't get him a birthday cake, the kids and I went to Safeway to get him one -- luckily they have premade ones so we picked one out and I asked the bakery guy for Nemo goodies since Baby C likes Nemo a bunch. Bakery guy even wrote Happy Birthday on the cake -- the kids and I were quite pleased with our selves. Baby C loved it and we had a fun mini party for him tonight.

And finally, Austin got his guitar. The deal was, he'd have to earn half of it then we'd front him the money for the other half but he'd have to work off the remaining balance. He's been a chore doing fool and I've had a nice clean house for a month now. This is so win win.

Anyhow, it is a cute little red beginning electric guitar that came with an amp, headphones and a bunch of stuff. His guitar instructor came with us to buy it (thank goodness) and seemed pleased that it was a nice package deal for a beginner and at a nice price. He's been tinkering a bit and I guess I'd better get used to guitar music now. His second lesson will be Wednesday and he's very excited.

I think that is all the news of the week -- I'll get to pictures sometime this weekend. Well, mostly likely on Sunday because tomorrow after Alana's party we go to my friend's 40th Birthday Party.

Happy July 8th!

It is Fixed!!

I'm happily back and running with my DSL connection. It was some super sneaky spyware that had hijacked my system, which is what I though but I didn't know what to fix it with since what I had been using for spyware obviously didn't work.

People who create evil nasty spyware should be shot. The number of unproductive hours thi sweek is about 15. 15 hours of work I've not gotten done that I still have to do.

Sob

So I'm on dial up. There should be a law against being on dial up. It is so slow it is almost criminal. I mean it.

Obviously I'm NOT handling it well at all.

The trouble with being your own boss is basically you are your own IT department (as well as your own HR department, accounting department, etc). I get nominal support from the company I do all my work for but it really is nominal (eh, we really don't support home computers and a bunch of suggestions of stuff I laready tried!). For being entirely self taught in the IT sector, I'd say I've done really well. I know now the problem is with the computer. The DSL modem is working fine, the router is working find, the computer thinks it is hooked up to the DSL but web pages won't load and I can't check email. So it is a computer problem, not a service provider problem and not a DSL modem problem and not a router problem. And now I'm stuck.

WAH! Does anyone feel sorry for me?

In other news, my grandmother is dying. She has passed from passively dying to actively dying. Have you ever heard of an 87 year old anorexic? I hadn't but that seems to be what we've got. There's a huge disconnect between eating and living and unfortunately it seems to be too late. She had a ocmplete clean bill of health back in February (with every test in the book) and now has a grapefruit sized mass in her abdomen - they don't know if it is colon cancer or ovary cancer but they can't do anything because she only weighs 75 lbs. She's always been tiny but this is way too small to fight anything so they've sent her home from the hospital with a full time hopice nurse.

It is such a shame. Sure she is 87 but two years ago she could have easily passed for 70, she looked that good. My grandfather's last words to my dad and his sister were "make sure your mother eats" but unfortunately they had NO idea what he actually meant. She's slowly starved herself for the past two years but no on quite caught on until recently. And now she tells my dad (her son) she doesn't want to die. No one wants her to but I think it is too late.

This weekend we are going to go see her. We are going to drive to husband in Santa Barbara on Friday night and then on Sat we'll all drive to LA to see her. I'm not good at good byes and this is going to suck big time. But we need to do it, Austin needs to measure himself against her (it has always been a milestone when a grandchild passed grandma and the first words out of Austin's mouth when I told him my grandma was dying was that she couldn't possibly be dying because he just knew he had passed her in height and he had to show her). Then she has to hang on until my brother can get to her. He is in the process of driving to the bay area from Detriot (he's moving here). Grandma hasn't seen his girls (7 and 9) since they were babies. So she's got to see those two great grandkids and then I guess she can go.

Santa Cruz

Last Sunday we spent the day in Santa Cruz for Father's Day. We road bikes along the path that overlooks the ocean and then we went to the Boardwalk to ride rides and then we went to the beach to lay in the sand. I didn't take too many pictures but I posted some in flickr so click that little icon on the left if you are interested.

The day was perfect - not a cloud in the sky and it was probably 75 degrees. These are the days you know why you live in California.

Happy Longest Day of the Year!

Sob! It is downhill from here on out!

Much Better

Whew! I've got order restored, thank god.

Not that every little minute has to be planned out but we really do have to have some structure in our lives and last week had none and by Friday, well things were a mess.

But we're all happy now! Daughter is in theatre camp, son is all signed up and playing tennis, doing work around the house to earn his guitar and I'm a little bit at peace.

Screaming Mad

You know, I really need to work on my temper as it relates to my son.

Now I'M Excited!!

This years birthday party for the princess has given me fits. First, I just couldn't seem to get my act together to even think about it. Second, everytime I would think about it and ask for ideas from the princess all I would get was that she wanted and American Girl party but with no specific ideas about what to do. Some years, when I'm more on top of my game, this would be all that is required and I could come up with something. I love themed kid parties and have thrown some very cool ones back in the day. But I was uninspired.

Then, as if those American Girl people could read my mind, they sent us an advertising flyer -- low and behold they've got party packs. All the goodies and decorations for 8 girls and their dolls! How cool is that? Quite cool. But of course nothing is easy and the princess couldn't make up her mind -- did she want the Mystery Party (my choice), or the Tropical Party or the Spa Party?

So, last week, a mere few days before her actual birthday I sat her down and we picked the date (a month out) and decided the party. The Mystery Party was ruled out because it was doll specific and she didn't have the dolls designed around the party. The Spa Party seemed fun but a bit more work than I was up for. Thus we decided the Tropical Party and I placed the order. The stuff arrived yesterday!

I have to admit, I'm falling more and more in love with those American Girl people -- yeah, yeah, it is just owned by Mattel so it is really just big corporate America but I just can't help myself. We had such a good time when we visited the store back in February and now this. We got a huge box of goodies for the party. And everything came in girl sizes and doll sizes - the doll sized plates, plastic ware, cups, and umbrella's for the cups. There's a lei making kit for each girl and their doll! The goodie bag isn't a cheapie thing but has real ribbon on it. We got place mats, crepe paper, table cloth, and a bunch of table decorations - we decided against the doll cabana because that was extra.

Anyway, the stuff was so darned cute, I just had to share. I'll post a picture later. And now I'm inspired - this will be the funnest party EVER! And if not, it will at least be the cutest!

UGH!

How do you teach responsibility? How do you teach listening? How do you teach 'catch a clue'?

So the boy heads out of the house around noon. Off to his friends on his bike. Are you taking your lock and chain? Oh no, I don't want to. And besides, if we go anywhere we'll use P's and lock them together. Okay, because remember if your bike gets stolen, it will be a long summer.

It didn't get stolen, but it wasn't because of anything he did. And P's did get stolen.

The decided to go to the guitar store. Well, there was no place to lock the bikes so they just left them there and went in the store. What were we supposed to do???? Eh, take turns watching them, lock them together, not go in the store -- seems like there were several choices.

Lets hope this is the lesson he learns from. P's parent's are not rushing out to buy him a new bike but he does have a back up. My son seemed a bit weary and I think he realized he lucked out this time. We'll keep our fingers crossed.

My Babies!

My Babies!
Originally uploaded by Tricia D.

Admit it. I have the cutest kids EVER!

Well, looking at this photo a bit now on flickr, I probably should have photoshopped out the mic. It looks like he has this black growth on face. Oh well.

This was taken on Sat the 4th after the high school kids and my son did a performance of Seussical (the only thing we do this year). They (the performers) got to perform at The Rep for two shows. It was a fundraising performance to help raise more money for their trip to Scotland. The did get some money in but I think it went for general costs vs. back into the kids' trip funds. Rats on it all.

It was fun to see the show on a proscenium arch stage. The stage at the high school stuck out into the audience and was three sided. This was more traditional and it worked well(after the entire show was re-choreographed) and was fun. The same, yet different which helped since I've seen this show at least 20 times.

Anyway, my little JoJo being congratulated by his siter.

Last Friday

So last Friday morning the princess comes into my office holding a sign that says "I'm Nine" and has 9's all over it. But it was only 6:59 and since she wasn't born until 7:01 we had to wait two minutes for her to actually be nine.

She had an alright day though I think she still wishes for bells and lots of hoo haa on her birthday and I couldn't manage it this year. We're not even doing her party until July 9th and that is another touchy subject.

I still find it unbelievable that my baby is 9.

School's Out

Another year bites the dust. Amazing how time does fly no matter how cliche it is to say that.

Gone are the days where I had about 6 hours a day to get stuff done. Here are the days of "mom, I want a ride to the movies right now." We had the "I'm not really hear to serve you, I'm only here so you don't have to be in daycare" discussion tonight so I think it will work out. All I need is warning and a bit of planning and then I can be very flexible. Oh yeah, and I need to expect that I will be working nights again. UGH. I'm too old and tired to work at night but that is about the only way I'll manage to get everything done in the next three months.

The princess turns 9 tomorrow. I'm speachless.

Guitar Lessons

After about six months of listening to my son beg and plead for guitar lessons, I've finally got something arranged. The teacher shows up on Wednesday at 7:30 pm to do a bit of an assessment and have some goals discussion and then can recommend acoustic or electric. I initally was opposed to electric but then I found out you can plug headphones into them so I don't have to listen. Electric is looking better all the time.

The teacher was a rocker in the 70's and now mostly plays at churches (he says to make up for the 70's which is really quite funny) so I have a feeling my son will love that since lately he's just been listening to Queen, The Who, Ozzy Osborne and Led Zepplin on his iPod.

On to another musical adventure which I find totally amazing since there isn't a musical atom in my body.

Mating Moths, Part II

In response to the question in last entries post.

No, we've not kept the moths in a tank -- they've just been in cool whip containers with toiletpaper rolls. The idea being that they'd cocoon in the toilet paper roll but that only happened a few times.

We were able to take them outside without even touching them and then didn't seem to want to fly around the house at all. They only wanted to fly to each other. I think they needed to get to a mulberry tree to eat but a couple died and I don't know if they die normally after mating or really anything about their life span for that matter.

Regarding the mating, they attached themselves at their butts. As in: "oh gross mom, their butts are stuck together." But I'm not sure how they fertalized the eggs because a single moth was able to lay eggs all on its own so maybe the fertalization process comes right after the egg was laid. It is a mystery. We did have some information on the silkworms/moths but that has disappeared into the black hole that is my daughters room. I suppose I could look it up on the internet but at this point, I think I'm through. We've got a batch of eggs in the fridge and we'll pull them out next spring and see if we've got worms. They will then go to the nearest mulberry tree and my experience with silkworms will be through.

I'd sure like to figure out what to do with the seven batches of silk I've got. Any ideas?

Mating Moths

Mating Moths
Originally uploaded by Tricia D.

We've been raising silkworms. After a brownie meeting in late April, my daughter shows up with a bunch of silkworms. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of those but they came to us in all sizes. We took very good care of those silkworms, finding mulberry leaves to feed them so within a few weeks, they began to make the cocoons. We had white ones and yellow ones and we were all very excited.

And then one hatched and we had this scary moth with glasses thing in our house. It didn't move much but we took it outside but after a particularly bad windy spell, I felt sorry for the moth so I brought it back inside. By this time, another one had hatched and they found each other. It was love (and babies) at first site.

A third one hatched and it sat around waiting for a mate. But numbers 4 and 5 hatched close together and found each other leaving #3 to lay eggs but those are probably sad sad eggs that won't live.

Meanwhile, the first set of eggs (along with the parents) went back outside, under the orange tree. Not that that will do them anygood so they eventually flew off leaving the eggs. My daughter, being a good silkworm rescuerer put the eggs in the fridge.

I think next spring we're going to be raising silkworms again!

I think I might stay

Not that I was a big huge writer or anything -- hardly. In four years I only managed 319 posts in diaryland. But it was time for a change and I wanted a place that I could use with flickr for pictures so here I am. And I think I like it.

Testing the photo feature

Flower
Originally uploaded by Tricia D.

I'm using this pic to see if I can actually send a pic from flickr to the blog.

The picture was taken at the Portland, OR Japanese Gardens.

Here I am

Looking around, surveying the joint. Interesting